Life is like a boat
by Ellen Julie
Summary: Moments between Dee and Patch, held together by the song "Life is like a boat" by Rie Fu. Not a songfic per se. Set sometime during season 4.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I do not own The Tribe or any of its characters. Likewise I do not own the lyrics* used in this fiction. I have tried to use the song as a way to divide the fiction in smaller parts, each verse representing a new "scene".

Please read and review – I really appreciate any opinions you may have on my work. Feedback makes me a better writer!

* Song: Life is Like a boat, preformed by Rei Fu. (It is a part of the soundtrack from the animé Bleach.)

Enjoy!

**Chapter one.**

**Nobody knows who I really am.**

**I never felt this empty before,**

**And if I ever need someone to come along,**

**Who is gonna comfort me and keep me strong?**

He had never really understood the term "ghost town". Not until the virus had come anyway. This plague had swept his city, taken his parents away. The disease had swept the country, the world, and the result was devastating. All the adults were dead. The world was definitively changed forever.

The neighbourhood around the Mall was filled with old burned cars and the buildings were painted in colourful graffiti. He knew the rest of the city looked pretty much like this. Car wrecks, garbage spilled all over the streets, dogs and cats running around. In some ways it was a ghost town. All the big buildings seemed empty, windows smashed and stores robbed. It seemed like a lost city, and the thought made him slightly depressed. This city had such great potential, but they all seemed to choose to fight each other instead of trying to rebuild. The place seemed abandoned, but he knew better. You could never feel completely safe in this city. Anarchy was the rule of the day and almost every tribe wanted control.

He had grown up in this city. It was so weird watching the city now, walking the streets and remembering how his life had used to be. His life had been awfully normal, and he had liked it that way. He had gone to the public school and later high school. He had always been the quiet type, not making any fuss around himself. He had been invisible.

This sunny day, Patch had placed himself outside the mall on a bench. His thoughts were drifting towards the tribe that had become his new friends and somewhat of a family. He had been with them for a while now, but still he had the feeling of "being the new guy." He was trying to fit in very hard, but still it seemed like it wasn't enough. The Mallrats was generally nice and friendly towards him. So everything supposedly should be all right, but it wasn't the case. He kept having the feeling of being inadequate. In his thoughts he quite ruled the world, always saying the right things in the right moments. But in reality it was different. He had always been the nervous, stuttering person around others. That was the main reason why he had developed such a handy ability to become invisible in the worst situations. Sometimes he seriously wondered where he had been hiding the day they had handed out the ability to act socially normally around others.

It seemed like it was going to be a beautiful day though, and the pretty scenery before him represented the complete opposite of his own mind, that was filled with black clouds. The sun was bright and the birds sounded very happy. That was something that newer seized to amaze him. No matter how much damage the virus had done, Mother Nature never gave up. You could find flowers and small threes growing up from different crakes in the solid concrete and asphalt. These sights always made him smile

Patch liked his time in solitude. The mall was always full of noise and life; something he also liked, no doubt about that. But it could be too much. He had never really gotten used to the whole socialising thing. And that represented another of his many problems. He had a lot to think about, but most of all he felt confused.

As he sat there, especially one person kept popping up in his mind as flashes of memory of past conversations. All of which he kept stumbling on his own words, making a complete fool of himself. It was difficult being a teenager with the normal problems connected with that and at the same time trying to rebuild the city. But he guessed he wasn't alone on those thoughts.

He had a main problem though, a crush. And not just any crush, it was a major one.

And the subject was Dee… the ever formidable, awesome and fearless Dee. The girl who went out on patrols alone, the girl who never seemed afraid or anxious. Oh they were so very different, if even possible, more than black and white.

And he could never say or do the right things around her. Sometimes he felt so dumb. He was tired of the stupid repeating mistakes he kept making, tires of his uneasiness and nervousness. He was just a teen with a crush, and he couldn't even get himself to act on it. He didn't dare. Dee frightened him… but at the same time he was hopelessly in love. What a scrape he was in!

Another one of his problems was his serious lack of selfasteem. That only served to reinforce his nervousness and by that the inevitable clumsiness. All this was just the normal stuff on a daily basis.

But now he was set in charge of the new hospital. He was desperately nervous about the thought and he knew it only would be worse from now on. It was just so frustrating!

Patch felt a familiar feeling inside him - an urge to change it all, now! Why couldn't he just stop being so unsure and just make things work? Dare to speak up for himself, be more confident, tell Dee about his feelings.

The same moment that thought crossed his mind he felt a thigt grasp in his stomach that kept twisting his guts around. He took a deep breath... even the thought scared him like nothing else. That thought worked as a bucket of cold water in his face. The determinant urge that had grasped him briefly before was all gone. "Well... next time I´ll pull my self together" Patch thought, knowing very well that he probably wouldn´t keep that promise. That thought made him fell sick of himself.

In a bad, mood he left the bench and walked towards the mall. With each step he regained his usally happy face. But inside he was sad and bleak.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I do not own The Tribe or any of its characters. Likewise I do not own the lyrics* used in this fiction. I have tried to use the song as a way to divide the fiction in smaller parts, each verse representing a new "scene".

Please read and review – I really appreciate any opinions you may have on my work. Feedback makes me a better writer!

* Song: Life is Like a boat, preformed by Rei Fu. (It is a part of the soundtrack from the animé Bleach.)

**We are all rowing a boat of fate.**

**The wave****s keep on coming and we can't escape,**

**But if we ever get lost on our way,**

**The waves**** will guide you through another day.**

Dee was waiting unpatiantly at the mall front exit. She and Patch were supposedly going to inspect the new hospital today just to see what needed to be fixed. And knowing the Technos, it was probably going to be the whole thing.

The hospital was robbed some time ago by numerous tribes trying to find medicine. There was a desperate need for a public hospital again. Well... one shoulden´t be so surprised about that with all the fighting in the streets. The need for regular patols was also growing.

The patrolling had shown not to be so easy. Every tribe out there saw the city as their own personal playground. And if that that wasn't enough problems, the Tecknoes were thrown in for extra "fun"!

Dee was very nervous about them. They couldn't be trusted, but at the same time everyone in the city was dependent of them. She wouldn't be surprised if they would withdraw their offer, though they had promised medicine and to provide a bouilding for medical treatment.

Dee tripped from foot to foot another while looking at her watch. Where was Patch anyway?

He was another person who kept creeping into her thoughts. A person she found difficult to put in a box. Normally that was easy. Lex was the smart ass. Ebony was the fake one. Salene had proven to be both trustworthy and strong. In that way, Dee was most comfortable when she could confine people she knew into boxes. Then she knew what to expect from them. And then she felt she could deal with them easier. But this wasen´t the case with Patch. Somehow she never knew what to expect from him. Everytime she thought she had him figured all out, he did something else to confuse her. He gave away so many mixed signals, and Dee had no idea how to place him within her world of boxes and chategories. In some way, that was the reason she sometimes treated him with such a distance. It was better to keep such persons at bay. Dee had way too many bad experiences with people. So boxes and distance was the rules of the day for her. It ws a way for her to make sense of the world. And a way to protect herself.

But lately she had found herself more and more comfortable around Patch. He was easy to talk to when he wasen´t way to nervous. And he was actually kind of...cute? Thinking the latter confused her. Since when did she put the label "cute" on Patch? Better be careful, she thought.

Dee caught eye of Patch as he was rounding the corner. "Hey! That was about time. We have a hospital to inspect you know."

"Yeah... I know. I was just of for a walk… erm… thinking" Patch said, seemingly lost in thoughts scratching the back of his head in a nervous gesture.

"Hello! Earth to Patch! Come On!!" Dee said a bit irritated, and began walking down the street.

"Erh... sure" Patch said, hurrying after Dee.

Patch and Dee walked carefully through the city, trying to hide in the shadows. Patch was nervously discussing with himself whether or not to start a conversation, when Dee broke the silence.

"Do you think this hospital is going to come up and running? I mean, I wouldn´t be surprised if the Tecknoes backed out of the agreement."

"It will probably be allright. I think they would finally come to sense and discover the hospital also could be useful for them."

"Yes... but it is meant for all the kids out there! We wouldn´t want the Teknoes to steal it when we get it up and running. Gods know they could do it if they made their minds up to it."

"No of course not, and that won't happen… We'll be alright, I´m sure" Patch said in the comforting voice, only he processed. Dee caught herself thinking how much she liked that voice.

Dee smiled at Patch "You allways seem so positive"

Patch smiled back and said"Well... that's me" in an almost ironic tone.

"Is there something wrong Patch?" Dee asked carefully, trying not to scare him.

Patch shivered inside when she said his name like that. He really would have liked to be honest, but he just couldn't tell her. He had a fierce inside argument, while he just stood there. The seconds passed by and this conversation ended up like so many others.

"No forget it" said Patch with one of his awkwardly smiles that Dee secretly liked so much. But she clearly felt he was hiding something from her.

"Listen Patch. You know you can tell me if there is anything wrong, right? And I don't just mean like your health and such… but… listen we're friends, right? And friends help each other… so I guess what I'm trying to say is that you always can come see me okay?" Dee said this very slowly, picking her words carefully. She wasn't use to this, talking so intimately to Patch. She wasn't sure how to do it, so he wouldn't misunderstand her. Dee felt she was moving on a shaky ground, one that could any time collapse on her. And she didn't like that feeling. She had always preferred to be in control of herself and her feelings. But lately that had proven to be difficult for her.

Patch was surprised, and he made no attempt of hiding it. But instead of using this moment to clarify many unsaid things between them, Patch acted like…. well like Patch mostly did.

Stumbling over the words, he managed to utter the words "T-Thanks, but I'm really fine." Suddenly his watch was the most exciting thing in the whole world, and this object was gaining his full attention at that moment.

Dee was hurt. He didn't even bother looking at her. The concern for Patch was pushed in the back of her mind. For now she was just deeply hurt. Apparently she didn't mean anything to him, nor did the concern she had for him. Again her point was proven. When would she learn?

"Well then, if that is the case, maybe we should move on! This really isn't the time for social gatherings in the middle of the street" Dee was hurt. Patch could clearly feel it. Once again he had placed that feeling inside her. It was his fault. Why did he always do that? He wished to be the person who inspired confidence in her, to be the person who she´d tell everything to. And to be the person she loved. But instead he kept being the person who would hurt her feelings.

They continued in scilence. Inside Patch an emotionally war was going on. His determinat urge from before began to rise again. He continued to force it back "Easy now" he kept saying to himself. "Forget it, slow down. Just act normal. Yes like that. Smile and act normal".

By the time the two of them had reached the hospital they were both back in their former roles, acting as always. Only, they didn´t knew that they both secretly wished it could be different.


End file.
